My Supports

    

     When it comes to my supports, I think of this little jingle…I don’t know what I would do without you! How I would survive, I cannot say, I will ever trust and never doubt you, Lord don’t take your spirit away from me. This speaks the sentiments of my heart.  I love the relationship and support I have with having God in my life.  I have been through some major obstacles in my life, like abuse, bereavement, divorce, and loneliness.  Just imagine existing in a world and not feeling like you can’t relate to anyone. You see and hear people but yet you feel as though you exist alone.  Loneliness is no laughing matter!  I have endured that, but I couldn’t have, without the support I receive from an all knowing ever-present God.  As a youth, I contemplated suicide from the effects of loneliness but somehow I could hear a still small voice saying to me “I am your Father and I am here to comfort you.” I’ve need the presence of God in my life.   

     Secondly, I have an amazing family.  Some related to me through blood and others were just sent to help me through this journey.  My younger brother, Commander Brock A. Miller is a jewel.  He’s a calm talker and thinker and I love that about him.  He oversees our family estate and no one can get anything over on him.  At work, he is so militant and fierce but at home he’s a cut off jean, torn tee-shirt kind of guy.  We need him to keep us in order because I am too persuaded by tears.  Also, my sister in the lord, Ivy has been a great support to me.  I moved to Louisiana after a divorce.  She welcomed me into her home and was a great listener.   She didn’t make judgments or treat me differently because of things I shared with her.  She is that friend who listens more than she speaks.  I need that.

     My twin boys are a great support to me.  As a matter of fact, I will be adopting them this summer.  My older son always has a kind word to share with everyone.  He looks into my eyes and says, “Mommy you are so beautiful and you take good care of us!” Okay, I can’t see anything wrong with that! In his own little way, he supports me.  His twin brother is Autistic and any accomplishment he makes is fantastic.  I was blessed with these boys after I endured some significant losses in my life.  I just existed until they came along. I felt like I needed to be  at my best because they needed me more than I needed to be selfish considering only me.  In that, I mean they were abandoned and needed love.  I was abandoned and needed someone to  love, take care of and support.  We needed each other!  I also need the babysitter, Anita.  She  goes beyond her call of duty with my kids.  She knows that I need to study for school and she volunteers to take the kids additional time so that I can study—no charge.   She is a real support! 

     I need my academic advisor.  Mrs. K. Jones has been a great support to me since I have been in this program.  I wanted to quit because I had difficulty adjusting to this course.  She talked me through it and reminded me of what I initially told her my goal was.  I told her I wanted to complete this degree because it was important that I make a better life for my family. 

     Finally, I need some physical supports.  I have been diagnosed with ADHD and I need medication.  I cannot settle myself down in most instances because I feel as though I have a million thoughts running through my head.  Also, I have type 2 diabetes and need a medication regiment.  I was diagnosed a few years ago and was in shock. Why? Because I felt I was too young to have the disease that all of my family members have.  When I told my aunt, she said, “So why did you think you were exempt?” That was a reality check for me so I just comply to the directions of my physician.  I need my glasses or contacts too because I can’t see elbows length without it.   

In conclusion, I have supports in my life that has made this journey for me less difficult.  I have God for strength comfort and support.  I have my brother and sister who provide support and confidence.  Both of them have earned Master’s Degrees.   I have my sons who provide love and happiness.  I have my counselor who encourages me to continue and do my best.  Lastly, I have medication and visual supports to help me get through the day.  I cannot image living without any of my supports because they have become so apart of me that I would not know how to replace them if they became obsolete.