The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

“Are you sure that is your friend?”

     As a young child, I attended a very small elementary school.  The racial mix of students was black and white only.  In order to maintain discipline before school took in, our principal would assign children to “take names.”  That is, take names of the students who didn’t obey the rules.  When I knew he would choose a student for that task, I always raised my hand to be called upon.  Much to my surprise, I was never called upon.  Each time, I would raise my hand thinking I would one day have the opportunity.  I was never ever called upon. Years later, it was brought to my attention the only students who were called upon to "take names" were white or light complexioned students. I was being discriminated against and didn’t even know it.  I realized that discrimination existed but I never thought my, “black” principal would be a part of such a discriminatory act. By the way, he was light complexion and most of the students would say that he was white.

     In high school, I was very good friends with Stacy.  We did everything together- played in the band, were members of the flag corps, played sports and talked on the phone all of the time.  I was raised be a single Black hardworking mother.  Stacy benefited from a SNAP, which also included her grandparents.  They owned a gas station. One day Stacy and I were going out of town to a festival. Before we were to leave, Stacy’s dad had promised to fill up our car if I agreed to drive.  (Gas was only about $1.40 per gallon.) When I approached the house/gas station, Stacy filled the car up with gas.  Her grandfather asked where is the money? Stacy said, “That is my friend Paw Paw.” He said, “Are you sure that is your friend?” I realized that her grandfather did not expect white Stacy to have a black friend. 

     In both examples, I was diminished as a person.  First of all, I was demeaned because of my dark complexion and secondly, a grandparent was not accepting of his granddaughter having a Black friend.  In the school setting, I didn’t quite have any feelings because I didn’t initially realize that I was being discriminated against.  When it was brought to my attention, I became angry because my mom openly talked about people treating people the same. I would have done a great job taking names because I knew how to tattle.  Taking names was just a glorified way to tattle. 

     When I think about a way to create a greater opportunity for equity for each situation, I tried to give each situation equal opportunity. First, I think the principal could have given each group of children the opportunity to “take names.” Also, it should not have bothered me because my main focus should have been to keep my name off of the list. Secondly, I should have been proud that my friend spoke up for me and left it as that.  The grandfather should have minded his own business.  Even though we did not pay for the gas on that day, my mother frequently patronized their gas station because it was one of the few full service stations in our rural area.