Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

     As a teacher in a high poverty school district, I hear young children interact with each other inappropriately quite frequently.  The window to my class faces the playground and I am able to hear many conversations from children.   I can recall hearing a high pitch scream coming from a group of children. I quickly ran to assist but much to my surprise it was only a group of children acting out being cheerleaders.  Right in the middle of the girls cheering was a little boy—he was the “head cheerleader.”  Without success, I tried to get in the middle of the circle to investigate. So I decided to just watch from the outer circumference.  The “head cheerleader” had all the dance moves, timing and flips of a real cheerleader. I was amazed at the ability of that child.  I started to clap at the end of his routine.  Another child approached me and said, “Mrs. Honore’ why you clapping for that faggot?” I was appalled that a Kindergartener knew that derogatory term. So I asked, “You didn’t think he was good?” He replied, “I hate gays cuz they always trying to act a girl.  And my big brother said he likes to punch them in the nuts!”  These types of comments were from an influential person in that child’s life. The authors of a text say, “Children are influenced by others’ attitudes about gender behavior” (Derman-Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 92).  I felt sad because he is being taught to discriminate against homosexuals at an early age.  This child has the power to influence other kids because he puts credibility to his comments when he said his big brother said this.  Negativity perpetuates at an alarming rate. 

     I would respond to a family member who is opposed to a homosexual caring for and /or educating his child by first trying to understand their rationale behind their decision.  I would attempt to encourage the family member to judge the person by his or her merits and not their sexuality.  I would make sure the family member has some facts and statistics related to homosexuality and teaching. Also, I would make sure my families know facts about sexual identity. Additionally,   I would even allow the misinformed group to have an open forum with a lesbian, a gay and a transgender.  I think people are afraid of the unknown. 

Resources

Derman-Sparks, L., & Olsen Edwards, J. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: NAEYC.

 

 

Week 8 Already?

To All My Wonderful Colleagues and Professor,

I just want to that you guys for being so supportive.  As I sit here thinking about this course, I feel as though you were a great group to collaborate with because I felt like such a part.  I feel honored!  Dr. Thomason thanks for your guidance and supportive comments.  I enjoyed your scripture thoughts! Thanks! To all my cohorts, I am always just an email away (yolondahonore40@yahoo.com ). 

The Final Stage of Team Development --Adjourning!

     I am experiencing the adjourning phase right now.  I have worked at the same school for 18 years.  The administration and teachers have come and gone but for the most part, I have really enjoyed my experience at this school. I can say that I have really been supported by a particular group of teachers at this school.  I have seen weddings, and births, and experienced death among the staff. This year I requested and received a transfer to another school because I want to meet new teachers and glean from them.   One experience that sticks out the most with me is when our group member passed.  It was heartbreaking because we were not able to say goodbye.  We knew she was ill but not unto death.  One day she came to school, the next day she was dead.  Nothing could prepare us for that.  We had just completed the behavior part of the School Improvement Plan.  She was a worker dedicated to taking up the slack for those who did not work in our group.  Our group members were allowed to leave school and attend her funeral service that was our goodbye. I wished I realized how sick she really was.  From that experience, I am more cordial and interested in my coworkers.  Our group was not high functioning but we made the best of it by pooling our resources together to complete the job.   I think adjourning is important because it closes the gap of completion. 

     For my Walden University family, I have a bitter sweet feeling about graduation.  I desperately want to graduate but I will miss the support from my colleagues.  This group really helped me work my butt off.  I felt like I could not be satisfied with displaying mediocre work, I had to give my best because we were/are learning from each other. Here it is important what you bring to the table.  I hope that I am able to attend the graduation ceremony—I will make my best effort to be there.  I want to meet each and everyone that I have shared this experience with. 

 

Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Management

Statewide testing… Value added scores…lesson plans…. Weekly highlights… testing meetings… kids at nursery before 6:45…family in town for 2 weeks…. Housework… setter late again…are just a few of the things I am dealing with this week.  My housemate’s job is to help me with the kids.  She wants to choose chores that are convenient to her schedule...no sacrifices! WTH kind of assistance is she lending me?  I give her a reduced room and board in exchange for her services.  I feel like she is not living up to her end of the bargain.   Sick and tired that’s what I am. Do you see a conflict? I surely do.  I am getting the short end of the stick.  What am I to do? What have I decided to do to end this conflict? First and foremost I have decided to communicate my feelings to her and allow her to air her grievances.  I am not going to attack her but I will address my concerns that involve her.  I will not get into a shouting match because no one listens when this happens.  I will use some nonviolent communication skills for this situation. I will pay special attention when exhibiting 2 of the 4 components on NVC (http://www.cnvc.org/Training/the-nvc-model).  I will listen empathetically and I will honestly express my feeling.  I will address the issue today because it has festered long enough. 

Reference

http://www.cnvc.org/Training/the-nvc-model

Communication, Anxiety, Verbal Aggression and Listening

      From the evaluation, I noticed there was a three way similarity in one aspect of my communication ability. I am uncomfortable in communicating in some situations.  Right away, I knew it was speaking in front of people whether it was a small group setting or an audience.  I defy public speaking!  I stutter.  When I was a child, I stuttered minimally and often self-corrected.  It appears when I became about 30 years old, I started to stutter more profoundly which causes me to avoid public speaking. I suffer with anxiety and speaking openly raises my anxiety level.   This is one reason that I am so grateful for on-line courses. I am able to express myself without worrying about pronunciations, repeated words or phrases and things like that that don’t bother other people like it does me.    My co-worker agreed that I rate “moderate” when concerning verbal aggression. Whereas my friend from childhood thinks I am verbally aggressive.  I thought not me, I’m a pussy cat. 

     The difference that I noted is that the other two people who evaluated me did not know intense my fear of public speaking is. I won’t inform them either.  In the category of listening, I fall into group 1, which says that I am people oriented which may interfere with my ability to be too trusting.  I disagree with that.  I love people but I don’t trust easily. 

      The first concept that resonates with me is an expert from the text.  The text says, “Your self-concept strongly influences how and when you communicate with others, the reverse is also true; when you interact with other people, you get impressions from them that reveal how they evaluate you as a person and a communicator” (O’Hair & Weismann, 2012). You see, I like to communicate in settings that are small where people see me as just that—a person.  I don’t have to pretend or have a great persona, I just present me.  Secondly, “You let others know about yourself through self-presentation” (O’Hair & Weismann, 2012). I think I present myself better through face-to-face communication and e-mail. I enjoy talking one-on-one and I like to compose material. 

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

 

WHO AM I SPEAKING TO?

     I enter a room dressed casually wearing shorts, a faded T-shirt, and no shoes. I tap my foot, with my arms folded.  I bellow out “Can somebody get these damn toys off of the floor….T-O-D-A-Y!”   I am speaking to my own kids who are the target of this frustrating repetitive demand. 

     Conversely, I am fully clothed in close to my Sunday’s best.  I say in a mild tone with a smile, “Did someone forget to pick up their toys in the homemaking center?” I am speaking to my students at the early childhood center. 

     Finally, I go into the monthly faculty meeting and enter the discussion. The topic is “How can we make them work at the end of the school year?” I raise my hand, wait to be recognized, then reply we can offer rewards and incentives and post their pictures in the hall for being a responsible citizen.  Surely, I am speaking to professional educated adults.

     No matter which of these roles one plays, communication is all around us. At home, I am Mommy, at work, I am Mrs. Yolonda and with my coworkers, I am Mrs. Honore’. With each scenario, I utilized some type of verbal, non-verbal and/or listening skill. In my culture it is appropriate to communicate with your children using mild profanities when making a repeated request.  The authors of the course text say, “Most cultures believe their own culture is appropriate and everyone should believe as they do” (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2012). In the first scenario, I am comfortable expressing myself like this among family. As an educational professional, I realize what is appropriate in later scenarios because I am tasked with being a problem solver and teaching children problem solving skills. Additionally, children leaving toys out in the play center is a skill that I need to address.  I can do this by modeling the desired behavior.  “The modeling process is very strong.  Children imitate what they see others doing” (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010, p. 38).

References

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

 

 

Sound off...Sound on!

   The program that I chose to view was entitled “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”—The Gang Gets Racist.  I am sure not many people chose to watch TV with the sound off.  It was definitely a challenge for me because TV is my favorite pass time.  From viewing this show with no sound, I thought the three male characters were friends because they talked to each other and laughed often. Two of the guys appeared that they were discussing a problem.  They carried on the conversation with their heads nodding in agreement.   The main female character did not appear to work in the bar but was familiar with the men in that situation because she took off her coat and laid it on the chair as if she was familiar with the place.  An unfamiliar man walked into the bar and the three guys all of a sudden began a conversation with him in a physically defensive mode.  The female held the unfamiliar man’s (black guy) hand then the guys backed down.  It appeared that her conversation supported his presence there.  In another scene, the all the above mentioned people sat and conversed over drinks.  The black guy did most of the speaking while the others casually smiled and nodded.  He was extremely “hands-on” with the guy who was nearest him.  He made sure that whatever he was saying that guy was giving him approval.  The female attempted to kiss the black guy but he directed her to kiss his cheek while holding her at arms’ length.  In another scene, the three men tried to play dominoes with a group of black guys at a game room.  One of the white guys appeared to be “talking” the domino players’ hand which led him being shunned by the bystanders.  The white guy was later invited to play dominoes and the bystanders were giving him handshakes and high fives at the end of the game.  In another scene, there was a male and female bartender, the male bartender’s tip jar was filled.  On the other hand the female’s jar was still sort of empty. 

     When the sound was on, a couple of my suspicions were confirmed. Jarred, the black guy was gay that is why he would not let Julie kiss him and made a pass at the other guy at the table.  Julie knew Jarred from her acting class and wanted him to meet the guys who owned the bar as to solicit more business.  Jarred was some type of party planner.  When Jarred arrived in the bar, the guys perceived that he was there to rob them because he came to the bar after hours and Julie had not prepared them to meet a black guy.   So eventually, Jarred told gay people on campus that the bar was for gays.  Gay men made a lot of compliments to the bartender even alluding to his pretty blue eyes.   Other gay men, starred at the bartender as to get his attention.  While in the game room of the college campus, non-verbal communication existed.  The white guys were looked at with snide facial expressions and practically booed when he interrupted the domino game. 

      It was quite interesting to analyze a show with and without sound.  This is a show that I have not viewed before.  I probably would have known that Jarred was gay and not interested in Julie.  Before I turned on the sound, I did not notice that the bar was empty and in need of patrons.  If this was a show that I normally watched